Children

Whatever the degree of affection between the couple, it was certainly true that the primary aim of marriage was to produce children and to raise them in a way that would not only reflect well upon their parents but also inculcate traditional social mores. In effect, the family, as a fundamentally conservative unit, served as an arena for socialization. The experience of children in ancient times is difficult to ascertain, as they leave no direct literary record of their lives and what we see of them is viewed through the prism of adult fathers. As children grew they would come into contact with a number of adult carers; they might stay with their own parents, or through the death or divorce of a parent they might find themselves with a number of stepparents and step-siblings. Within an upper-class household a child would certainly have experienced a number of slave carers, some of whom assumed duties we might today consider the proper role of parents. In some cases the relationship between child and carer could become a close one, and this potential for closeness caused anxiety among some male commentators.

Children were generally considered a desirable asset in the ancient world, but the care they received depended on their status, rank, and economic position, and, ultimately, on the whim of their parents and carers. Children whose parents had sufficient economic resources could expect a reasonable period of childhood when they could be admired and indulged for their childish behavior and exploits (B. Rawson 2003). Those in less-well-off families could expect to work in some form or other from an early age; they no doubt helped in family businesses or on farms as soon as they were capable.

Within the family a child would learn from an early age how to negotiate the power dynamics of society: between husband and wife, parents and children, master and slave, men and women. In Roman society in particular, where the evidence exists, familial bonds appear strong among all social groups, even those who could not form legal unions. Among ex-slaves, who could legally marry, the desire to emulate the family life of patrons is striking. As well as influencing social behavior, ideals also mask some of the less palatable realities of life. Some marriages were doubtless made entirely for the convenience of male alliances. Some were unhappy; wives, husbands and children could suffer abuse, as did many slaves.